To Dictate or to Guide: The choice is yours
On Parent-daughter relationship
21st century or 19th, girls will be treated like girls only. Same old fashioned restrictions and same old four walls of home. The thinking might have shifted in terms of education with the upper and middle class but haven’t changed in terms of supporting the new thoughts. Parents now want their girls to be educated and qualified to be more presentable but yet be submissive and non-decisive. They have taken bold decisions of sending her miles away from them to make a career but as soon as she wants to take a step on her own, they take a back-step.
I’ll tell you what has changed; it’s just that the world is shouting to move on so parents have decided that it’s better to move on for the look of it so that children don’t rebel. But how long will that stay? How long will this work? People have to move ahead, accept the few culture, traditions etc. It’s been repeated 100’s of time- “Change is the only constant” but people still want to stick to their old philosophies and rituals. They might pretend that they are this new breed; all hap and cool but at their hearts, they are these old valued people who do not want to flinch a bit.
Now to my above argument, the earlier generation might comment that we are trying and have given you so much of freedom. Just answer one of my questions- Have you really? Have you let your girls take even a single decision themselves that might be considered important? Have you completely believed in them completely and agreed to them as you would with your son? Have you still judged them for being your daughter-in-law in terms of her qualification/skills and not beauty? Have is even occurred to your mind that she can support your family as good as a husband can?
If the answers to all above questions are no, then dear sir/ma’am, you are highly mistaken when you say that you have moved on with the world and given your daughter better freedom than your parents. I disagree with you. All you have done is just increased the radius of the circle planting more controls than ever before.
If you give freedom, give it from your heart and believe that it will not be misused. Tell your daughter that you are trust her, do not break it. If she does, then you can hold her responsible, detain her or take away some rights. But if you just want to give freedom without believing in her, you will create more of a rebel than a thankful daughter who will condemn herself for her very own womanhood. For ages, people have been responsible for demeaning women in every way possible. You have a choice of giving her respect by letting her go. She will come back and will be always yours if you guide her and not dictate her. And the day you will do this, she will respect you forever from the bottom of her heart.
21st century or 19th, girls will be treated like girls only. Same old fashioned restrictions and same old four walls of home. The thinking might have shifted in terms of education with the upper and middle class but haven’t changed in terms of supporting the new thoughts. Parents now want their girls to be educated and qualified to be more presentable but yet be submissive and non-decisive. They have taken bold decisions of sending her miles away from them to make a career but as soon as she wants to take a step on her own, they take a back-step.
I’ll tell you what has changed; it’s just that the world is shouting to move on so parents have decided that it’s better to move on for the look of it so that children don’t rebel. But how long will that stay? How long will this work? People have to move ahead, accept the few culture, traditions etc. It’s been repeated 100’s of time- “Change is the only constant” but people still want to stick to their old philosophies and rituals. They might pretend that they are this new breed; all hap and cool but at their hearts, they are these old valued people who do not want to flinch a bit.
Now to my above argument, the earlier generation might comment that we are trying and have given you so much of freedom. Just answer one of my questions- Have you really? Have you let your girls take even a single decision themselves that might be considered important? Have you completely believed in them completely and agreed to them as you would with your son? Have you still judged them for being your daughter-in-law in terms of her qualification/skills and not beauty? Have is even occurred to your mind that she can support your family as good as a husband can?
If the answers to all above questions are no, then dear sir/ma’am, you are highly mistaken when you say that you have moved on with the world and given your daughter better freedom than your parents. I disagree with you. All you have done is just increased the radius of the circle planting more controls than ever before.
If you give freedom, give it from your heart and believe that it will not be misused. Tell your daughter that you are trust her, do not break it. If she does, then you can hold her responsible, detain her or take away some rights. But if you just want to give freedom without believing in her, you will create more of a rebel than a thankful daughter who will condemn herself for her very own womanhood. For ages, people have been responsible for demeaning women in every way possible. You have a choice of giving her respect by letting her go. She will come back and will be always yours if you guide her and not dictate her. And the day you will do this, she will respect you forever from the bottom of her heart.
Win The Respect: Do Not Create It Out Of Fear.
Guide: Do Not Dictate!!
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