LOST

He was never mine, yet I want to be with him,
I don not want to put conditions nor do I want to deal with him,
I don’t know if he loves me, nor do I wanna know,
For the first time in my life, I just wanna let go!!

I smile infectiously all day and that is because I met him a day before,
I cannot concentrate on a thing and still my days don’t go soar,
I know I would rip my heart in the end and still I continue giving,
I wanna shout out load and tell everyone, this is what is called living!!

I am scared deep down somewhere and I do not want to think,
I can still look at him in the eye and just forget to blink,
I know I am being crazy and he could take me for a ride,
But what should I follow, head or heart, who is there to decide?

I try not to talk to him but I loose control,
I don’t wanna back out now despite that I might fall,
I can tell no one about it, nor can I seek advice,
But I heard that in lust you fall and its love in which you rise.

I used to think initially that it was just a passing infatuation,
I somehow cannot derive any logic for this constant attraction,
I told him this sometime back and he agreed; to my surprise,
Now how should I act, should leaving him would be considered wise?

I know I should hold back and I should not try to meet him,
I know life would move on and I would not be able to greet him,
I still want to live these movements and I cannot measure their cost,
All I can say is, however hard I try, I am lost, just lost.